Stages
by Raikiri512
Summary: Erik Lehnsherr and a few stages of his life. Erik/Charles oneshot


**A/N**: four hours of work, and I am no English native speaker and the story was a little bit silly :" forgive me. Yes, this is another fix-it fic 

11.  
>One can call Erik poor. That would be quite precisely since the most valuable things he had were the suits that he wore occasionally only. The gold? It belonged to his people, he was merely a keeper until it found the right place to be.<p>

He truly had no possession whatsoever. And he didn't need much because he got no one to share anything with anyway. That was what troubled him the most sometimes, when he jerked awake in the middle of the night, craving for a touch or a solid, warm body beside him.

Erik knew what was possible and what was not. He tried to go back to sleep, but the feeling would always be there whenever he woke up, didn't matter when it was the middle of the night or the peak of dawn

10.  
>Charles Xavier was the first one to touch Erik after god knew how long.<p>

Erik was drowning. The submarine was pulling him deeper and deeper. The pressure increased, he felt air being pushed out of his lungs and gritted his teeth harder, not giving up. He'd sworn to kill Shaw or die trying, whichever came first. To be honest? Both sounded good to him. Erik tried to enhance his anger and felt the submarine slow down just a bit.

Then it happened. Arms coiled themselves around his chest. Even when being surrounded by cold water, Erik could feel a body being pressed against his back. Erik struggled and a calm but decisive voice spoke to him.

_You have to let go._

Erik had stopped believing in God since he'd met Shaw, but in one second of that moment, he felt like God was whispering words of salvation to him, and let go.

9.  
>After a while Erik realized he was being drawn to Charles. One reason was because Erik had never been this close to anyone before. While he had not yet trusted Charles, he could feel his guard being lain down day by day. He was changing so rapidly. He slept minutes and minutes longer every night. He felt more relaxed everyday. Charles could be responsible but he'd made it clearly the second night that he wouldn't, and somehow that was enough for Erik.<p>

He really couldn't recognize himself anymore

They'd been traveling for a while now, recruiting more mutants. Erik got slightly annoyed once when he looked at the newbies. Children, all of them, not one knew how to control their powers. But Charles was thrilled, happy even. When he talked about the kids, he looked too much like a puppy wriggling its tail that Erik had to hold his tongue. Although he just loved to give Charles some sardonic comments.

Each day, Erik felt more like metal. Charles attracted him so much he might as well be a magnet.

8.  
>Erik had an amazing skill in keeping track of time. He could tell exactly what day it was or how many day it had been without the need of a calendar or any other tools. It was one of the most useful things Shaw had trained him to do and it felt as natural as a second mutation to Erik.<p>

That was why he could tell the day he dreamt about Charles was precisely the 69th day since the day they'd met.

It was rather corny, really. In his dream, Charles' eyes were as blue as ever and his lips were just as silky. He was sitting in the middle of a meadow, between wild green grass and tiny white flowers. He looked up at Erik and smiled genuinely like he was truly glad to see him.

When Erik woke up, he felt himself at peace and thought he rather had a nightmare instead.

7.  
>Erik knew that he was completely captivated by Charles now. Everything about the man made him inquisitive. Meanwhile the dreams about Charles continued. There was time when Erik thought about using drugs to stop the dream, but he'd never had to depend on anything and he didn't mean to start now. After a while, he started getting used to them. They varied themselves, too. Sometimes, the dreams got sensual: Charles writhing and moaning beneath him, his lithe body being covered by Erik's built one. Sometimes they were just plain and simple: Erik resting his head on Charles' laps while Charles's humming a lullaby.<p>

Erik might have fallen in love.

Sometimes, Erik would like to think about himself as something more than a cold-hearted monster.

6.  
>Charles liked touching. He usually brushed his hand over Erik's, touched the small of Erik's back, threw his arm over Erik's shoulders, and so on. He tended to do so even more when they were training the children.<p>

That simple action should not feel that good

Not that Erik would ever admit, but along with the casual touching, he really liked the kids now. Being affection wasn't something familiar with Erik. Therefore, talking about it was never an option. However, he did show it in action absently. If the kids were a little bit older, he thought, they would have had noticed. Erik even brought Sean a cup of warm milk with honey while he was training alone outside. The boy was so terrified he had thought Erik was giving him his last meal before executing him.

5.  
>Erik was sitting on his comfortable sofa in the study room, reading. He came across a nice detective novel called Sherlock Holmes and couldn't take his nose off of it. When someone entered the room, Erik acknowledged, but didn't even bother to look up.<p>

Something was pressed again the back of his head.

Erik stiffened immediately. His first move was to reach out with his power to take a hold of the gun, but he felt nothing. Whatever it was, it was not metal. Erik followed his second instinct to leapt real far forwards and spun around

Charles was standing there holding a bottle of wine, pointing towards the place that Erik's head accommodated not more than 2 seconds ago. He looked smug with himself, then the smugness turned to worry when he looked at Erik's face.

_Erik? What's wrong?

_Do not what's wrong me._ Erik's mind screamed with enragement. Charles screwed up his face, apparently startled by the sudden loud project. _I could've killed you._

Charles dug a little bit deeper in Erik's head and saw all he needed to see: people who crept up on Erik, or what was left of them, killed by their own weapons and the fear that was pumping adrenaline through Erik's blood right now.

Charles' eyes widen in comprehending

_Oh, I have no idea, my friend. Please accept my apology.

Erik wasn't listening. He was too busy panicking and self-scolding. Not just he could've hurt Charles, if it was someone else he could've been dead or captured. Why didn't he just turn around to check? What happened? Did he really just let himself go like that? He...he...

Arms coiled themselves around Erik, much like the night when they first met and Erik was drowning. The only different was Charles's voice in his head was much softer this time

_Erik, please, calm your mind_

Erik didn't say anything, but he figured his brain was sending out a surge of _howwhatpanicdon'_, because the next thing Charles said was

They are not who you are, Erik. You won't be needing them anymore

Stopped to let Erik absorb, then Charles added:

You've got us

However, contentment was something so alien to Erik that even when he was happy, he was unhappy.

He restrained himself from being too close to anyone. Deep down inside, there was the fear of hurting someone, and then this bubble would burst.

It nearly did when he dreamt about hurting Charles.

Fate had played a cruel trick on him perhaps, for he went to sleep so many nights and wished his dreams would still be vivid in the morning, and none did, none but this one...

Erik had pushed Charles' head down to the mattress, had bitten his shoulder until the soft copper liquid flew into his mouth. Charles had screamed, not from ecstasy but from pain and fear when Erik pushed into him.

Erik could still here the pleading and sobbing.

_No, please Erik. I don't want this_

How didn't this happen two months ago? Because if it did; Erik wouldn't even feel guilty. But he had grown rather protective of Charles lately and it didn't ameliorate his situation any, only made it worse. Had he been a weaker man he would've thrown up several time by now. He wanted to castigate his subconscious for immediately put Charles in the enemy category after that little stunt in the study room, but one could only suffer so mach weirdness in one day.

Erik knew he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep again, so he stood up and went downstairs to make himself a cup of tea.

4.  
>Erik was an idiot.<p>

Really, after all those things that had happened, and he still let himself dream about having something to his own? He should've realized the warning. He could not belong to a family, for he would bring only loathing and misery

_Sie sind immer so naiv, Erik_*

He found himself involuntary agree with _Herr Doktor_ once more.

When he was on his way back to his room from the kitchen, he overheard the children talking. It wasn't really helping his situation though. Everyone including Raven, the girl who had come to his room to find consolation merely an hour ago, was taking turn to tell the others how much he/she hated Erik.

Somehow it didn't hurt, much. He left before the kids finished and missed the part when Raven announced Hank to be the most convincing liar in the room

Maybe God didn't want Erik to be happy. Maybe if he was happy the apocalypse would happen. Yes, Erik still hadn't believe in God, but there had to be something going on, because he came across Charles' room and accidentally eavesdropping, again.

This time was worse, because Charles was making out with Moira.

The door wasn't carefully closed. They were so wrapped up in each other and failed to notice Erik standing right outside.

Erik felt like storming in there and ripped Moira apart with his bare hands, destroying her with the iron in her blood and enjoying every fucking second of it.

And he would've done that if...

His eyes traveled to Charles' back, looked at the way he was holding her.

Erik let out a sigh and tore himself away. He wasn't that surprised to see all the picture frames, light fixtures and decorations in the hallway twisted, deformed and ruined.

He was a weapon created to destroy after all.

Erik had to leave. He just had to leave.

3.  
>Erik finally saw his way out.<p>

He was leaving after this, he wasn't sure if Charles knew, but that wouldn't change his mind. He would go and took no one with him.

The only obstacle was Charles. Erik wasn't just afraid of Charles being able to found him and somehow convinced him to go back, he was afraid of his subconscious would calling out for Charles when he was at his limit.

Problem solved, Erik thought as he put on the helmet. It was heavy against his head and cold against his ears, even with Shaw wearing it for a long while now. It blocked out all impacts from Charles. When Charles' voice was shut, Erik felt like being drag to the bottom of the ocean all over again.

2.  
>Erik didn't really want to kill the human soldiers, but now he had no choice. They were stupid enough to fire metal bullets upon them, endangering his kind, his family.<p>

Well, they probably didn't feel that way, but when did Erik care about others' opinions anyway?

The bullets and missiles slowly turned back.

_No, Erik, please.

Charles was begging him and his tone reminded Erik of the dream. While it hurted and it did, really badly, it made him more determined to leave. All he had to do now was to kill the human, no one would want him back anymore, which was just convenient.

He fired the bullets back.

For a moment, the only thing existed in Erik's mind was the sound of the heavy bullets piercing the air when they headed to the battleships. Then suddenly, Charles charged towards him with a sonorous yell.

Erik braced himself for the tackled that never came. Arms coiled themselves around him again, and Charles all but screamed for everyone to hear

_ Please stop Erik. I love you

1.  
>Erik was always able to find the humour in every situations.<p>

Like this one for example. Everyone turned to Charles so abruptly that Erik could almost here the crack in their necks. They all wore a ‚what the fuck' expression on their faces, especially Moira, who looked like some had smacked her in the face with a frozen tuna. Everyone except for Raven, the clever girl merely raised an eyebrown.

And Erik guessed his face must look gobsmack too because the corner of his mouth was twitching non-stop.

And yeah, forgot to mention, the bullets and missiles all stopped midair.

Charles took a step backward so he could look at Erik directly in the eyes. His hands were holding Erik's biceps so tightly as he spoke

_Shaw is dead Erik, and I need you. Things don't have to be this way.

A hundred images flashed through Erik's eyes. He wanted to believe Charles, but how could he? How could he be wanted? How could anything beautiful ever be his?

Charles' eyes were so bright today

_I know you saw me and Moira, Erik. – Charles said out of the blue and Erik caught a glimpse of distorted metal outside of Charles' door – And I have to admit it's my fault. Erik, I want her, but I love you.

Erik felt like a kid in kindergarten being lured with lollipops and chocolate bars. He stood next to a big zero chance of winning.

_You don't have to do this, Charles – Erik finally found his voice – I'm bad news. No one wanted to be around me.

_I do – Charles and the children all said at once. No one even bothered to stop to say ‚jinx', they continued their rambles and jumped in each others' mouths to speak

_We need you

_Don't go, Erik.

_It won't be the same without you.

_Erik

_Erik

_Erik

The kid had lost.

Something inside him snapped, making Erik let go and felt to his knees, all the bullets fall to the deep water below but he was too exhauted to care. Charles rushed to him, took off the helmet and dropped it to the sand. Then he threw his arms around Erik's neck and kissed him so fiercely Erik's head swam. The children all gathered around them, watching Erik hold onto something that was rightfully his and sworn to never let go again.

0.

For the first time, Erik had someone to share his life with. Things were prodigious: going to sleep everynight with Charles lying next to him and waking up to find the most wonderful person he'd ever met sleeping soundly in his arms. It was a feeling that no words could describe.

They settled down to Westchester of course, opened a school just like Charles had always wanted. Erik now had a family with a partner and a lot of kids. Their children had now increased to ten individuals, but both still wanted more, and they knew they would have more.

Erik was happy and it wasn't the end of the world

End

*You are always so naive, Erik

Thank you for reading


End file.
